Friday, May 9, 2008

The darkness has loomed large,
From the cradle to the grave,
In every sphere of my being,
In my controlled laugh,
And in my hidden tears,
The food that was put in front,
And the veil that always tried to cover.
Every gesture, every finger,
Be it inside or the outer world,
Never failed to remind that
I am nothing, just a lower being.
For centuries,
When citizens were defined,
I was deliberately kept out,
For ages,
When religions were prescribed,
I was conveniently ignored.
The beam of knowledge,
Found it hard to pierce the tent of customs that surround me,
The voice of liberation,
Never bothered to come around me.
Few texts written, Who knows when,
Suggested ‘her’ to be hanged, burned, bashed
It justified myself to be cursed, used and served.
‘I’ became the precious ‘thing’
Nothing more than the pride of my owner,
I gained the privilege in the journey of the official moaner.
But now ‘I’ decide to change
Change not just the slice of the rot,
But destroy completely that broken clot,
While you sit and condemn,
While you shout and ordain,
I decide to fight, much more than a victim,
I decide to find respect of being a ‘Woman’.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

My heart, the first casualty of my ideals,
My burning eye cradle the tears,
I stood by what I felt, and faced
What my heart asked me to follow,
With tears rolling down my cheeks,
I am trying to pacify my emotions,
The anger or the fear that is building up
The loneliness keeps swelling up.
But, like a fighter I have to stand,
With smile on my lips, and
Stubbornness in my eyes,
I know I will do it, as I have always done,
I know I will fight, with me other than none.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

The Pain

Sitting by the lake, as I search for the image,
Found nothing just tears, that had dried long back,
Dried from the cheeks, preserved in my heart,
Eyes that decline to reflect, tells a story of a dead soul,
A soul that could live only on pain, survives non-living,
An effort to move, found that I am rooted in the ache,
Too tired of the game that I always lose willingly,
Too tired of the life I have been living so half-heatedly,
i am left with no option, got to go on and on,

The journey has ended but I got to go and on.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

So Close your eyes!!!

Are you tired? Are you irritated? Are you disgusted? Are you lost? Are you broken and wounded? Are you restless? Are you scared? Are you feeling insecure?So am I. what should we do to get away from all the anxiety, fears, stigmas, tiredness, impurities of life and worries.

These things constantly bother me. I do not know what to do and do not even know how difficult is it to get rid of all these. However, I know one thing that I can do certain things, I love to do. I love to close my eyes.
Yes, I love to close my eyes and ….
I love to close my eyes and go back in the memories of my childhood.
I close my eyes and think about the delicious food I had on that night.
I close my eyes and listen to what the breeze whispers in my ear.
I close my eyes and let the butterflies share their secretes with me.
I close my eyes and let the sea make me feel its vastness.
I close my eyes and let the ground beneath my sole express its softness.
I close my eyes and let the grass tickle my foot.
I close my eyes and let my lips smile.
I close my eyes and let my hand go up and embrace the warmth of Mother Nature.
I close my eyes and let the wrinkles of my forehead dissolve in the love around.
I close my eyes and feel the life in the sun light.
I close my eyes and let the stars smile at me.
I close my eyes and feel the rain of blessing coming from heaven.
I close my eyes and feel the fragrance of humanity all around.
I close my eyes and listen to the soothing music played in a shell.
I close my eyes and let somebody’s warm eyes rest on my face.
I close my eyes and let the wind play with my hair.
I close my eyes and let the raindrops make me feel blessed.

Then, I do not know why I feel very good…I guess it is not so difficult to close your eyes. Try it once dear…hope you too feel blessed.

The Temptation!!!

Dearest Tanya, Here I am wanting to share one of the most funny and tempting dreams I have had recently. Oh I really wish now if I hadn’t given you some information about this dream and built up a suspense thriller but never mind…am not going to cry over spilled milk.I still remember how excited I was to be a part of the congregation on some strange topic. I am extremely sorry for having forgotten the topic once again. This habit is just like a ‘Good’ old wine i.e. getting stronger and better with time. Ok by now, I have already put my glasses to hide the notorious twinkle in my eyes. Before I say anything else, I want to make a confession to you as I have nurtured this innate desire for quite a few years now. Initially I was very confused about myself craving for your company at any social gathering. Each time I had to attend a party or something I wanted to be with you. I enjoyed entering the venue with you. I simply loved your timing and appreciated your style. You were neither before time nor late ever. You beautifully managed to walk the red carpet as the lime lights waited for you or at least I felt so. Oh never mind! What matters the most is that you were always more than happy accommodating me next to your gracious self. Thanks for that. Your presence prevented me from feeling out of place and save me from the embarassment of before the time arrival.

The same thing happened yesterday also. I eagerly accepted your invitation for the lecture. All I remember right now that we were required to wear some fusion outfit of Black three quarters and some strange Kurta. To stick by the trend of wearing something strange we took a long chadar over sleeveless tops. Am sure we can present ourselves at Lakme Fashion Week. Well now, let me take you back to the same congregation. I do not remember much about what the long beard lecturer said as half of my efforts were wasted in getting my attention out of the beautiful smell of incandescent sticks and the sight of drowsy beauties almost asleep during the lecture.By the time you pulled me out of the lecture, I was so sleepy but I do remember us rushing towards the dinning area as the smell was tickling our taste buds more than the contemplative lecture doing any good to our brains. You took me to the Non-vegetarian section with a promise of some amazing fish preparations. Like a wonderful host you took charge of familiarizing me with that strange looking long plates and wonderful smelling food. Saliva was already drooling out but I had to work hard towards keeping myself awake thanks to the lecture we had deceived few minutes for the food. You held my head up saying. “Dear this is the authentic Tamilian food served on very auspicious occasions only. One gets a chance to relish these delicacies in a lifetime and we are lucky that we are the chosen ones. Kindly pray that we get few more such blessings from Goddess Annapurna and that she with her special blessings make this taste immortal for our taste-buds.” After saying this, you religiously sprinkled some water over your head and performed the ritual for me as well. I was so thankful to you at that minute as it helped me win myself from sleep. God bless you for being so kind to me.

By this minute, I could feel myself being pulled towards the buffet table. I thought it would be a great sin to retaliate and not going with you. Now after relishing the food I can say if I had not moved with you like a lifeless vegetable you had strong and justified reasons to make me one. Thank God, I used my common sense, which comes handy rarely. After taking me to the food, you helped me stuff my plate to its brim explaining each dish and its important. You stopped me from putting some strange looking fish into my plate. In fact you ‘enlightened’ me about the presence of some sinful prawn curry. As we proceeded towards the dinning table I realized the food was already a scarcity and thanked you first and God later for letting me fill my plate to such an extent when putting an extra grain of rice would require tremendous expertise. For the first time I craved to be the meanest and dumbest creature on this planet so that I could save my self from committing the sin of sharing my plate with some hungry organisms. I was eating as if there was no tomorrow and that I have to catch a local train, missing which would cost me my job or at least my attendance in Jane’s lecture.

As I kept the last morsel in mouth, I felt that something strange was happening to me. I could feel shiver all over my body. My brain was not responding. I could sense something big happening but did not know what it is. After wondering for few minutes, I finally got my senses back and realized that it was my phone vibrating below the cushion-less pillow. As I picked up the phone and saw my boss name appearing on the display I thanked God for making my boss call me after I finished my dreamy meal or I would have been cursing my boss for not letting me have a peaceful time while eating the most auspicious and mouth watering meal.

Hope you too had a good time eating that meal and wish that next time our bosses keep out of our lives at least at these beautiful moments.